Better Than Me
by pinkee10
Summary: Songfic to Hinder's Better Than Me.  SSHG.  Severus pushes Hermione away and realizes he made a mistake.  I don't really know if it is angsty but it seemed like it to me.  Review Please!


**A/N: OK, so this fic is based it on the song Better Than Me by Hinder. This is my first songfic because I usually can't stand them but this song just begged to be written about. So have fun and good reading!**

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I told her that she could do much better than me, but she fought back, telling me that she couldn't do better because in her eyes I was perfect for her. I reminded her of all the lies I've told, about every wrong I did to her but, with heavy tears, she insisted that it didn't matter, that she loved me. My heart broke even more, but I persisted. "It's over." She looked into my eyes and with a curt nod of defeat, she left with a soft _pop_, disapparating away from me.

I released the breath I was holding and walk to the bedroom. I slowly sit on the bed and my actions hit me like the strongest curse I've ever endured. I look next to me, at _her_ side of the bed. I remember when she would dress in the morning to go to her ministry job and carefully fold the tiny article of clothing she called pajamas and would set them on the edge of the bed, not bothering to bring them to her flat, knowing she would come back to my house later that night. I can't believe I miss that already. I shake my head to rid these thoughts. No, I won't miss her. I won't. I made the right decision.

I lie down on the bed and face her side. And that's when I remember. I remember the nights when we would just lie there, with me wrapped up behind her, her bushy hair tickling my face. But never again.

Tears start rolling down my face when I think of what led to our first kiss. It was her seventh year at Hogwarts and I took her in, at Dumbledore's request and my dismay, as a potions apprentice. She was a bother at first, commenting on everything in her know-it-all way but, within the next few months, she slowly became a reasonable companion. During the first awkward weeks of forced conversations, we would talk about the latest potion breakthroughs but after we became comfortable enough with each other, anything was fair game, from our favorite literature to current politics, to even muggle celebrities. It was during this time that I started developing feelings for her and the time that the kiss happened. Earlier that month, I showed her my notes on a potion to make that abhoration on my arm completely disappear. She had a few interesting ideas to add and together we worked on making the brew a success. After countless failures, she had the idea of adding whole dragonfly wings instead of crushed and when she slathered it on my dark mark, it instantly vanished. I was so ecstatic that I was finally free, that I grabbed her face and gave her a quick smooch. When I pulled back, she had a look of shock, with her eyes wide and her jaw dropped. My mind caught up with my actions and I immediately stuttered out an apology. My mind was traveling to ideas of reprimand for my inappropriate action but I was interrupted in my thoughts by her hand on my cheek and her words, "Don't worry so much. It's alright. I didn't mind because I like you, too." With that I slowly leaned down and kissed her again. She opened her lips, an invite to come inside that I happily accepted. I could taste her innocence and loved it. It was perfection. That particular taste never left through the years and it was my elixir of life. But never again.

I get off the bed and go into the kitchen, thinking it would be a safe haven from my thoughts. As I was walking towards the panty, a small box on top of the refrigerator caught my eye. Curious as to what it was, I got the box down and opened it. When I saw what was inside, my whole body shook with sobs. It was the box of pictures I took of us on our get-away to Greece. We both loved the architecture and we tried to determine which of the ancient myths were fabricated and which were really about wizards. The animated pictures in front of me showed us as a happy couple, arms around each other, laughing and smiling with loving glances. I found the picture of us standing in a temple for Aphrodite, the goddess of love. I look closely and see myself mouthing to her the words "I love you," the first time I have ever uttered those words in my life. She pounces on me with tight hugs and kisses me with every ounce of love she has for me. When she lets go of me, I stagger a bit but quickly regain my balance and look at the camera with a big smile.

I put the picture down and let my head drop into my hands. I stand there, leaning against the counter, for seconds, maybe minutes, without doing anything but letting my mind wander. I thought of the time she brought me to that horrid muggle mall. There was all that noise and people and dirt. But she was excited, so I was content. She dragged into a store with clothes and started grabbing shirts, jeans and skirts and piling them into my waiting arms. I protested when the pile started going over my head. She sighed with mock annoyance, then led me to an opening labeled "Women's Dressing Room." I told her that I clearly couldn't go in but she waved her hand at me in an exasperated gesture, peered inside and, when she concluded the coast was clear, pulled me to the farthest door down the hallway and shoved me inside, locking the door behind us. I looked around at the massive family-size room, and, not knowing what to do with myself, sat in the chair next to the mirror. I looked for the crazy woman who dragged me in here, and found her leaning against the door with a smirk that could rival mine any day. She slowly advanced on me while unbuttoning her shirt. As she reached me, she slid her shirt off and it fluttered to the floor, leaving her in an emerald bra with a tiny silver bow on the front. I was suddenly very glad for the giant pile of clothes on my lap. She leaned over and whispered in my ear, "I couldn't wait until next week, so here's an early birthday present, love." I grinned and proceeded to have my wicked way with her, making her moan in pleasure. Startled gasps from the growing line of impatient women outside the door brought us back to reality. I scoop her into my arms and, with a _crack_, apparate us to Spinner's End, leaving the dressing room locked, much to the dismay and disbelief of the shoppers.

I choke back a sob at the end of my favorite memory. I take a few minutes to collect myself, then walk to the study. Finding my pensieve, I point my wand at my temple, mutter the spell and drag a copy of the memory out of my mind, slowly stirring it into the silver basin of my memories. I don't ever want to forget that time in the dressing room. I go back to our, _my_ bedroom and fall asleep on the bed, emotionally exhausted from the day's events. I dream of her face, her touch, her smell, her smile, her laugh. I wake up to a ferocious chill. The bed is freezing me inside and out. I forgot how much warmth she carried with her. I get out of bed, taking the blanket and her red and gold pillow with me to the couch. I huddle close to the pillow, breathing in her scent, which warms me up for a fraction of a second, but nothing compares to the real thing.

I regret saying that it was over. I miss her terribly. She is all I can think about now and I will never stop thinking of her for the rest of my life. I _need_ her. This can't be the end. I stand up and apparate to the door of her flat, still holding her pillow close to me for support. I knock on the door and pace outside, waiting for her to rescue me from this hell. I hear the chain on her door slide off and when she opens the door, I hear her gasp and I see her tear-streaked face. I fall to my knees and softly, I say, "Hermione, I am so sorry. You really do deserve better than me but I am a selfish man. I can't let you go. I need you like oxygen. I thought I could live without you but I was wrong. I remembered what it felt like beside you, the way your hair tickled my face, how you taste of innocence. My bed was cold and I couldn't stand not having you there. You deserve much better than me but I want you back. I miss you too much to care. Can you ever forgive me?"

I look into her eyes and see them glistening with tears and a huge smile on her face. "Is that my pillow you are clinging to for dear life, Severus?" She says in a teasing tone. "Why? Do you want it back?" She puts a finger under my chin and raises me from the floor. "As long as it stays on your bed." I grin, probably looking like an idiot, and lean towards her lips, beginning to kiss her with gentleness and care.

She pulls back and lifts her hand to caress my cheek, looking me directly in the eyes. "I love you and I don't ever want to leave you again." I hold her hand to my cheek and rub my thumb in circles on her palm. "I love you, too, Hermione. Be mine forever." She replies by leaning closer to me and whispering against my lips one word, _forever_, before capturing them in a passion-filled kiss that marked the beginning of our new life together.

Forever.

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**Yes, Yes I know, very sappy ending. I tried to keep them in character but I might have stepped out of them for a sec. Review if you want, let me know any thoughts running through your mind, whatever. I'm not apathetic towards reviews. I just don't think I should make a threat to review. Love you anyway.**


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